reality check

tattoo.

Okay, so yesterday I got my first tattoo. I've been wanting this tattoo for a long time and yesterday I finally got it. The only problem is that I hate it! I despise it! I cant stand it! I want tattoo removal!!!

Don't get me wrong, I like the actual tattoo. I think its pretty and it means a lot to me; but it was a big mistake putting it in the place in which it is and the size it too large. I made a mistake. And now I have to live with it. I mean there are worst things that could happen, but this feels like the biggest thing in the world right now!!

Back to School.

So my break is over. I don't know if i'm happy or not about this. I mean i did have a great time sleeping all day, listening to music, catching up on my shows, bullshitting; but its been fun seeing everyone and feeling independent again. There's just something about doing my own thing that makes me feel good. You know?

stupidity....

UGHHHHHH!!

im so stupid. i always allow myself to get played. i am so naive; y cant i control it?? why cant i predict the future? why cant i go through life without pain? why does it seem like everyone is out to get me? why cant i trust people?? if people felt the same way that i do, then wouldnt they treat me with respect? so then i guess this means that people dont feel the same way as me. so then i guess that means that im unique. so then i guess that means that we do have purpose. so then that means that i just might be okay. so then why do i still feel like shit?

easter.

well; i cant actually remember ever celebrating easter even though i`m sure i have. i`m awake at 6:50 in the morning; making easter my least favorite holiday right about now. church is going to be so funny when everyone is all dressed up and the little girls are wearing their dresses. its going to be so funny; especially since im wearing a v-neck and jeans. hahahaha; im not changing.

fear.

sometimes i get so scared to be different. if i could i would tattoo my whole body, cut my hair crazy, wear whatever i felt like wearing and saying what i really felt. i always feel so held back by society and it disgust me. its not that i'm afraid to be different; i just feel like its not smart to be different. i feel like its risky, and right now, i feel like i cant take those kinds of risk.

DUEL II.

okay;

has anyone seen the opening sequence to MTV's Duel II?

its embarrassing, to say the least.

check it out.

ugh.

i hate the rain. it makes me not want to do ANYTHING!! i just hate the cold, the wind, the water on and in my boots. i really really really hate it when my socks get wet and when the bottom of my jeans get soaked. i hate how no matter how fast the windshield wipers go, i still cant see.

there are so many things i hate about the rain and there are so many things i would do if it weren`t raining right now. i would love to underage drink outside in my backyard with a blanket and some good music. but i cant because it`s raining. yes; it`s raining.

[banana pancakes - jack johnson <3]

whole foods.

WHOLE FOODS;

I don't know how this blog is going to appear becuase I am blogging via blackberry. I'm at whole foods and I just enjoyed a full course vegetarian meal with a 400 mL simply lemonade to wash it down. Whole foods has to be one of the greatest places on earth. There food is so fresh and presented so wonderfully. I feel like what I am eating is like artwork. Its like when I take a bite I imagine a cartoon world; like osmosis jones. My body is rejoicing at the thought of consuming such a delectible treat.

i`m home.

Easter Break...

I usually dont stay home on breaks longer than two or three days. I don't know why. I just like to be busy; I just like doing things. But this time I needed to relax. I just needed a breather from this whole school thing.

I had a good time so far. I've been able to blog :). I've been listening to a lot of music, like old times. I went to the park; which is pretty hard to do in the city. I saw some friends. HOME COOKED FOOD IS AMAZING!! My mom cooked me a whole vegetable lasagna and it was superb. Then to top it off... she got angel food cake with fresh strawberry drizzle! it was amazing!! I'm just really enjoying being home. I take advantage of some many things being at school and being in the city; but coming home makes me feel real.

[i poke her face - kid cudi; kanye west; common <3]

in the beginning...

in the beginning God created a girl...
her name was mone. she was a creature of strength; wisdom; and poise. she was skeptical of many things and listened closely to those around her. confident and smart; she knew that she would make it one day... to what she did not know. she had many faults; we all do.

in the beginning God created blogging....

it was a new concept; coined by Peter Merholz in 1999. it was the start of a new phenomena. sharing ideas, beliefs, words of wisdom, stories. we can say it all.

in the end God added them together...

a time when both blogging and mone came together, standing side by side expressing oneself through words and technology.